One random day at the BAU
by peaceloveswim
Summary: CRACKFIC! I have no idea what the hell i was on when i wrote this. It is really silly stupid and dumb. First chapter rated for character death and MORGAN/HOTCH but its not serious its just silly. This is now a multi-chap fic
1. One Random day at the BAU

**Disclaimer: …..dude If I owned any of this the website would be called author fiction, not fan fiction**

In the state of Virginia, in city of Quantico, There is a unit of the FBI known as the Behavioral Analysis Unit, also known as BAU, where there are 7 Feds working diligently, it was all normal until…..

"OMG ARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Spencer Reid yelled. "AGHHH YOU FOOLISH MORTALS HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THAT FIRE KILLS US AND WE DON'T WANT TO BURN YOU UP WE JUST WANT YOUR BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Emily Prentiss yelled to Reid who was at the moment running dry firing his gun around pulling fire alarms and using up all the fire extinguishers. "AHH VAMPIRE I KNEW YOU WERE ONE" Rossi yelled then proceeded to randomly pull a crossbow out of his pocket and started shooting Emily with wooden stakes which Emily easily dodged. Right at that moment Aaron Hotchner walked out of his office and said "Excuse me!!!! I have a very IMPORTANT announcement!" "ugh another case" Rossi groaned then looked toward Emily and said "I'll get you later" Hotch replied "Hell no I wouldn't interrupt you guys for something that dumb!" "Then what is it?" Spencer asked who seemed to be calming down somewhat BUT was holding a ginormous cup of coffee that contained 2 quarts of sugar. "I have come to announce the REAL reason Haley and I got divorced, DEREK MORGAN I LOVE YOU WITH A BURNING PASSION!!!" Morgan yelled back "I'M SOO GLAD YOU FINALLY PROCLAIMED YOUR LOVE FOR ME NOW WE CAN FINALLY BE TOGETHER AND NOT MAKE A SECRET OF OUR RELATIONSHIP HOTCHY!!!" Morgan and Hotch the preceeded to a long makeout session right in the bull pen. Suddenly Garcia burst in saying "it's time!" then said louder so everyone could hear "YOU FOOLS EARTH HUMANS ARE SO DUMB!!! I CAN NOW TAKE ALL THIS INFORMATION I GOT BACK TO MY HOME PLANET OF GLORGAPHSTUS AND WE CAN TAKE OVER THE EARTH!!!!!!" Then as if that wasn't enough JJ took out bubble stuff and a bubble wand, blew a bubble and stepped inside and said "Good people of the Quantico Federal Bureau of Investigation, Behavioral Analysis Unit, the wicked witch of the west is coming I strongly advise you to run!" Though no one listened to her warnings even when Erin Strauss started riding on a broomstick totally painted green through the bull pen. It was then the building caught fire although, everyone except Prentiss made it out alive. When they figured out it was Elle and Gideon who started the fire, no one really cared except for reid who ran up to them pointed at them and yelled "ARSON!!!" and continued his manic breakdown, and Rossi, who just yelled at them saying "DAMN YOU KILLING EMILY PRENTISS WAS MY JOB!"

The end.

So what do y'all think?!!? Love it? Hate it? Think its really dumb stupid and pointless (yea me to!!!)

Drop me a review with the pretty green review button, just 2 rules

Please no saying EW! VAMPIRES LIKE TWILIGHT YOU SUCK!! Or anything of the sort relating to twilight I was not referring to that I just used the first thing that came into my my that was random enough to use in the story without using any major obvious characters (I originally had it actually as Harry Potter and Voldemort but I decided not to seeing as how I was already bringing in Wizard of OZ) so please just go with it.

and

Do NOT!! Ask me what I was on when I wrote this because I have absolutely no idea

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	2. Profiler Puppet Pals

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds Harry Potter or Potter puppet pals….

Rating: K+

Watch Potter Puppet Pals the mysterious ticking noise (if you already haven't which then you would have been living under a rock) before reading to understand this

The elite team of FBI profilers started was doing a search of a house that they were certain housed a serial killer. Suddenly Aaron Hotchner heard a ticking noise. He said to no one in particular seeing as how he was alone in a room. "Hmm what is that mysterious ticking noise, not over hear, not over there. Kind of catchy, actually….." He presumes to sing "hotch hotch Aaron Hotchner, Hotch Hotch, Aaron Hotchner" Then out of nowhere Gideon jumps out yelling "Gideon" hotch resumes with his "Hotch Hotch Aaron Hotchner, Hotch Hotch Aaron Hotchner" "Gideon!" Reid then randomly pops up and starts sing "Reid Reid Spen-cer Reid Reid Reid Spen-cer Reid." Suddenly Emily jumped in singing "Emily, Emily... Emily Prentiss, Emily Emily... Emily Prentiss!" Then Derek Morgan jumps out and starts saying while flailing his limbs around "Derek Morgan, Derek Morgan ohh Derek Morgan. Derek Morgan Derek Morgan that's me!" Suddenly a fight breaks "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" "Hotch" "Morgan" Then Randomly "GIDEON!!!!" "EMILY!!" they then resume to repeat the verse twice then burst out singing "Singing our song, all day long in QUANTICO!!!!" Gideon then bursts out "I FOUND THE SOURCE OF THE TICKING!!! IT'S THE UNSUBS PIPE BOMB!!!!" Emily Derek and Spencer cheer while Gideon and Hotch give each other scared looks then…..BOOM!!!!! Suddenly you hear an evil laugh then Erin Strauss walks in and starts singing "Erin Strauss Erin Strauss ohh Erin Erin Erin Strauss." Then everything goes black and all you hear is Baduhduhduh.

The End

Ahhh this idea came randomly the second after I climbed into bed so yea im really weird drop me a review tell me what you think purtty please! Oh yea I used Emily cuz her name was the only girls name that fit in the song and someone was upset I killed her in my last story so yea this is just my way of apologizing and I was originally gonna use an unsub preferably the Boston Reaper but nothing fit not Reaper not Lafayette not Tobias Hankel not Benjamin Cyrus not Adam/Amanda not Carl Buford not one damn unsub… well there goes my hope for this story to be K…anyway so yea I choose Erin Strauss Anyway


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